好久没有写部落格了。。。这两年发生了很多很多事情，多得数不清。。。撑了两年，好像发了两年噩梦，什么时候才能停止呢？好累啊！！
现在，就连我的另一半变得连我都好像不认识他，不了解他了。。。对这婚姻，我也不再期待些什么了。。。如果是我欠他的，那希望能快点还清，摆脱这恼人的婚姻。。。
为了孩子，为了家人。。。我。。。必须表现得很坚强，但其实我都在强颜欢笑。。。有时候，我真的觉得我总是皮笑肉不笑，这感觉好累好累。。。现在，我喜欢把瑙放空，什么都不想，什么都不管，这样的我虽然比较没有这么烦恼，可是却好像一个没有思想的人。。。真的。。。我真的已经变得连我也不了解我自己了。。。怎么办呢？
对婚姻早已没有任何期待了。只想找回我自己。。。
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
health problem
haiz...how come i am so "SUAI" from last yr untill now??? Last few week fainted inside my bedroom till my tooth broken,went to see doctor already spend abt $450,got to go back to the doctor for follow up, recently went for check up,result also not very good,my HEART got problem lor...heartbeat irregular ... going to do few more check up for heart,need to spend abt $400 again,i got no $ to make the payment already...what can i do now????
Breast cancer spend me alot of $$$,now heart got problem again,when can i stop spend so much $$$ on my health???
i am really very tired with this kind of life,when can i keep away from this doom???
神啊！救救我吧！
Breast cancer spend me alot of $$$,now heart got problem again,when can i stop spend so much $$$ on my health???
i am really very tired with this kind of life,when can i keep away from this doom???
神啊！救救我吧！
Monday, April 13, 2009
my beloved family
As many problem happened from last year till now,i am so tired and feel hopeless already....BUT ,really grateful that i got a beloved family who always give me full support so that i can always overcome all those crisis.
My parent and elder brother not even given me mentally support,they also helping me solve my financial problem,although cannot settle all the debts,but i feel very very touching already,I really don't know how to repay them ...
Recently,i fainted inside my bedroom,i hope nothing happen to me again so that i can live as long as i can,i want to live with them untill my kids growing up,i want to take care and repay my parent and siblings in future...
How i wish there is nothing happened before but i know it is impossible,sometimes feel mood swing and cannot control my own emotion...and recently,most of the time feel want to cry but i scare my families will worry about me...i trying very hard to make myself happy and pretend nothing happen but its seem very difficult.....
My parent and elder brother not even given me mentally support,they also helping me solve my financial problem,although cannot settle all the debts,but i feel very very touching already,I really don't know how to repay them ...
Recently,i fainted inside my bedroom,i hope nothing happen to me again so that i can live as long as i can,i want to live with them untill my kids growing up,i want to take care and repay my parent and siblings in future...
How i wish there is nothing happened before but i know it is impossible,sometimes feel mood swing and cannot control my own emotion...and recently,most of the time feel want to cry but i scare my families will worry about me...i trying very hard to make myself happy and pretend nothing happen but its seem very difficult.....
Sunday, March 8, 2009
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